Neighbors usually come and go, but every now and then you’ll meet a neighbor who lives on in infamy. Like performers in a stage play, no neighborhood is complete without at least one or two of these colorful characters.
- The Sculptor: This has nothing to do with art—unless of course you’re talking about your neighbor’s yard. In that case, no blade of grass or leaf on a bush escapes his careful attention. The Sculptor can be a wonderful addition to any neighborhood, because—let’s be honest—that lawn looks amazing. But if you are unfortunate enough to share a property line with a Sculptor, you’ll constantly be compared to him. Take heart, because if you ever need help, the Sculptor is always ready to come over and offer unsolicited lawn advice.
- The Busybody: What’s the latest scoop in the neighborhood? The Busybody knows. This person is always on the move, enjoying long conversations in the driveway or over the fence. If you want to know why the moving trucks were across the street or why the cops were parked down the block, he’ll always have the answer. Just know that the Busybody never takes goodbye for an answer. And be careful what you say—the Busybody is always on the lookout for that next tale to tell.
- The Night Owl: Ah, to be young again—or at least act like you’re young again. The Night Owl simply must be part raccoon because this he always comes to life when the sun sets. Whether this person is hosting loud parties on the property or coming home at 3 a.m., the Night Owl lives life to the fullest—and the noisiest.
- The “It Wasn’t Me” Guy or Gal: If you’ve never had the chance to live next to Mr. or Ms. It Wasn’t Me, consider yourself lucky. Whenever your mailbox is damaged, your window is broken or there’s fresh dog do-do in your yard, you can always expect the It Wasn’t Me Guy or Gal to be at the scene. Of course, he or she has no idea who’s responsible — but it wasn’t him or her.
- The Joneses. The Joneses got it—and they flaunt it. Now, do you try to keep up? The Joneses dare you to.
